 |
 |
 |
 |
| Methods | Storyline | Reviews | Discography |
 |
|||
| New material at myspace.com/rudyschwartzproject! Music available at DC-Jam Records |
|||
For ten years, The Rudy Schwartz Project has been bringing you the finest in questionable entertainment. This tradition of unbridled obscenity and guffaws at the expense of idiots and assholes everywhere continues with the release of Günther Packs a Stiffy, the newest CD by The Rudy Schwartz Project, released through Seeland Records, and available through this very catalog right here. Stupidity is your best entertainment value. Why not purchase some today?
CDs:
Günther Packs a Stiffy (1995)
Salmon Dave (1993)
Don't Get Charred... Get Puffy! (1992)
Cassettes:
Enhanced Florence Henderson (1994)
Yodelin' Satan (1993)
Don't Get Charred... Get Puffy! (1991)
Salmon Dave (1988)
Bowling For Appliances (1987, also an LP)
Moslem Beach Party (1985)
Plastic Containers Retain Odors (1986)
Droplets on the Rim (1994)
CDs
Photo by Griff Smith
Günther Packs a Stiffy
Includes the best material from the Enhanced
Florence Henderson and Yodelin' Satan cassettes, plus an otherwise
unavailable cover version of
Zoogz Rift's
Would You FIB to the FBI?
Almost 60 minutes of the most perky cynicism you're ever likely to
encounter, except for maybe when Uncle Chuck fetches out the casabas
and starts doing his Louis Prima schtick. A truly essential RSP release.
$15.
Don't Get Charred... Get Puffy!
If The Rudy Schwartz Project has a
Sgt Pepper or an Aqualung or a Frampton Comes Alive or a Jim Nabors'
Greatest Hits, this is it. Over an hour of gonad-stomping fun from the band
that didn't bring you Newt Gingrich or prostate inflammations, with five
tracks not included on the cassette, including cover versions of Frank
Zappa's The Black Page, and Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds'
Don't Pull Your Love. SOLD OUT - but you can order a dubbed cassette below.
Art by Roy Tompkins
Salmon Dave
A remixed and tweaked version of the 1988 cassette
release. A few of the more annoying tracks from the cassette have been
deleted and replaced with two tracks from the Plastic Containers Retain
Odors cassette (Georgy Girl and Tampon Louie). Plus, a few previously
unreleased tracks have been thrown in, including an actual obscene phone
message received at Republicancer studios. Decidedly cheesier than the
other two CDs, but still worth some hoots.
$15
Cassettes
Enhanced Florence Henderson
Another must for any true degenerate.
This tape features a guest appearance by Reverend Ivan Stang, and the
already classic The Dallas Cowboys, Jesus and Me, scheduled to be
performed at the 1996 Super Bowl halftime ceremonies and all future
Bob Hope specials. If you only buy one cassette, make it this one or
Don't Get Charred.
$7
Art by Roy Tompkins
Yodelin' Satan
46 minutes of blasphemous rantings and B-movie music,
including incendiary cover art by Roy Tompkins. This cassette provoked my
one genuinely creepy hate letter, so I'll always have a soft spot in my heart
for it. Includes Coming To a School Board Near You, Foodplay, and music
from movies like Plan Nine From Outer Space.
$7
Salmon Dave
Slightly different from the CD version, this is the original
cassette release of the last material from the 4-track era. Includes
Ciriciribin,
The Pincushion Man, Pop Song, and many others, including a few really
irritating ones not on the CD like Polyps Are Forever. If you have a
CD player, you should get the CD version of this instead (~60 minutes)
$7
The following tapes are out of print.
They cost more
because I have to dub them individually when someone
orders them. I use Maxell XL-II cassettes or something
at least as good.
Art by Roy Tompkins
Don't Get Charred... Get Puffy!
A dub of the CD version. All of the original cassette, plus five
bonus tracks. Includes Creation Science Polka, An Orange Is Nothing But a
Juicy Pumpkin, Cracklin' Rosie, Kill For God, and many more fun hits
guaranteed to get you laid at any church pot-luck.
$11
Bowling For Appliances
Bowling For Appliances - Out of print on vinyl, this was the first Rudy
Schwartz extrusion to be released by an independent record label. Includes
favorites like Bob Eubanks Initiation Ritual and Subsequent Cumbia, Ernest
Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party, and Nice Lawn, Asshole. Still cheesy
4-track stuff, but much better than Moslem Beach Party and Plastic
Containers. This might come out on CD some day, but given how much money
I lost on the last CD, I have my doubts. (~46 minutes)
$11
Moslem Beach Party
Since people have asked, I'm making this piece of
shit available again. Includes long-time Rudy Schwartz favorites like
Kill For God, Raspberry IUD, and Asparagus Makes Your Urine Smell Funny.
Be forewarned that this is the cheesiest of all Rudy Schwartz cassettes.
But some people still consider it the best. There's no accounting for taste.
For completists only. (~60 minutes)
$11.
Plastic Containers Retain Odors
Also being resurrected from the grave is
this 1986 release. Includes I Married Bob, You Can Become a Republican
Too, and I Got a Sheep Out Back.Don't get this unless you're enthralled
by low-tech MIDI goofiness of the most primitive sort. You've been warned.
(~46 minutes)
$11.
Droplets on the Rim
This is a collection of outtakes from over the years,
unreleased tracks, other bands I've been involved with, plus a few songs
from the only live Rudy Schwartz performance ever likely to occur. This is
priced to discourage you from ordering it. Of all the stuff in this catalogue,
this is by far the biggest pile of horse vomit. It's 90 minutes long; it's
lo-fidelity, it's mostly unlistenable, and you shouldn't buy it. If you do,
it'll be dumped to a Maxell XL-II cassette or something similar. You'll
regret it. I'm not kidding.
$11
You can't.
Joe moved, and he won't be able to supply anything soon. Ha ha, joke's on you.
Try DC-Jam Records.
More nauseating art from Roy Tompkins can be obtained at:
Roy Tompkins
P.O. Box 16022
Austin, TX 78761
USA
Email: royt4321@aol.com
